So I learned today that the news about the tax free separation pay if you resign this year is true. But the catch is this: for private companies, the deadline is only up to November 15th. Meaning, you can't wait out until you get your bonus to resign. It's like either you don't get your tax free separation pay or not get your 13th month pay. You choose what matter most to you.

And now I'm torn more than ever.

It's like if I wanna do it, I should do it soon. Like 4 days from now. It feels like I really need to make a decision soon and make that darn resignation letter. Is this really the answer to all my prayers? Am I really sure this is it?

Feels like it. But I'm still having my worries. Like I will not have enough money for Christmas since the separation pay will be given 3 months after you resign. I still have money but I still have credit card debt left to pay until next month. The husband is helping me to pay but he himself has debts to pay that we need to prioritize right now.

I guess being scared is part of the process when you're about to do something huge in your life. Specially when it's your first time to do something this huge of a deal. I was less scared back when I'm still waiting for a sign or an answer, but now that it's here and I need to make a decision, I'm scared of what would happen. I'm scared that all of the stuff my mom said is true and she would end up telling me "I told you so." She would always end up telling me to do whatever I think is right because she doesn't want me to blame her in case my plan didn't work out. Thanks for the very inspiring pep talk mom; now, I'm more scared than ever!

But I know I shouldn't be scared because God is always with me. I can tell that everything that's happening in my life is His works and that He's leading me to this. Because He knows better. Maybe much better than my mom. I know that God will never give us anything we can't handle. We can always handle it because He's with us all the way. 

I may not be a very religious person, but  when I think of God and all His blessings in my life, big or small, I couldn't help but cry. Whenever I get in the zone to pray, I always cry. Because I can feel his presence in my life all the time. The way He always protect me and my family, for always providing for us specially when it feels like we don't have anyone to turn to; he's always there to make a way. I may not say it to Him through prayer all the time, but I'm really thankful for everything.

God, I guess this is it, right?

Time to compose that resignation letter then.

A little note to self too. I saw this article a while ago while searching "should I resign or not"
Link to the article: When You Should Quit Your Job Without Having Another One Lined Up

Paul (not his real name) was a hard-working VP in a company that underwent a difficult merger. He has three children, one of whom is a special needs child. Before the merger he was considered a star, but after the merger he just couldn’t seem to do anything to please the new management. He noticed that one by one his colleagues from before the merger were let go or forced out. He was determined to survive — for his family’s sake.

But the job took a toll on Paul. He gained thirty pounds. He felt sick every morning going to work. He was so anxious that his family and friends were concerned. When his doctor weighed in, too, Paul knew he had to leave — job or no job. He was carefully watched, and he was working too many hours to look for a new job. He was so stressed, he wouldn’t do well in interviews.

Paul put together his plan. He collected his references, mostly from management before the merger. He set a date to resign and prepared a resignation letter that said nothing about his health but thanked his bosses for keeping him on through the merger, complimented them on all that he had learned from them, but said he wanted to redirect his career more towards sales and marketing.

Paul never said, “You made me sick, literally!” He knew someone might want to contact his new bosses for a reference, and he wanted at least a neutral one from them. His plan worked. His references from before the merger helped him find a new job.

I 'am obviously Paul, sans the three kids. 

Labels: family, work