As you see, the past month had been a roller coaster of emotions for me. Stressed, scared, sad, mad, sometimes okay, but most of the times not. This month had been difficult because of what happened to my dad. Plus add the stress my boss is giving me while I was away from work. I thought my brain couldn't handle all the thinking anymore. I would often cry to my husband about how stressed I'am with all that's going on. It's my first time to face such problems as an adult.

Then one time while talking to my husband, he told me to pray for whatever's stressing me to go away. Ask God for guidance and calm. He told me that things happen for a reason and that I should not be worried or scared. I prayed to God. Well, I'm really not the best when it comes to praying since most of the time I would fall asleep while doing it. I really don't know how to tell God what I'm feeling. So the bright kid in me thought of looking for prayers on Youtube. First I listened to this one video of a prayer for stress. The prayer is so spot on. Then I listened and prayed with this video for asking you to surrender all your fears to the Lord. I bawled like crazy. And strangely, it made me feel better.

Not only it made me feel better because I cried, but it also made me feel less scared knowing that God is with me through all these things I'm going through. All we need to do is ask him to take over. It brought me a sense of peace in myself that God is always in control. Even if things don't make sense, we must not be afraid because for whatever trials in life we are experiencing now, God has prepared something much better for us in the end.

I believe prayers are very effective, even though I don't pray that much. This experience of ours is just one of the millions of manifestation that God truly listens to our prayers. That God knows what is best for us and he works in such mysterious ways in our lives. All we need is to just ask and praise Him. It's already a miracle enough that me and my mom is COVID negative by the beginning of the month even though we are constantly exposed to my dad prior to him being tested positive. And now, another answered prayer, my dad is finally tested negative for COVID-19!

And now that my family issue is over, I must now face the music and go back to work. A work that has been a source of stress for me for months, maybe even years. The whole month of being in quarantine made me think about things. Basically, I've been thinking about quitting my job. I've been praying for God's guidance, hoping that he will enlighten me if this is the right thing to do. I'm scared to go back to work and see what will happen. But maybe when I get back I will really know what the answer would be.

But during one time while I prayed, when I decided at one point to just leave, I suddenly felt peace in my heart. The thoughts of this being an opportunity for me to do what I really want, to learn new things and to concentrate on myself made me feel that God is telling me to just do it. That I should not be afraid for he will provide and would open doors for me towards what would truly make me happy. And to be honest, I really felt that. I'm not worried about finances or what the future would hold. All I could feel is peace in my heart because something that made me feel stressed will be finally out of my life and that I will start fresh. I felt excited for the new things I would do.

I'm decided I would quit my job. But I still don't know when. I want it soon but I know I should't rush and I still have a Christmas bonus coming! But let's see. I hope God speaks to me and tell me if I should really do this. Only God knows when is the right time.

Dear God, please continue bringing peace into my life. Make me trust in you more. For I know you love me and would never forsake me. Please take over my life and my family's. Thank you for every blessing. We love you so much.

Labels: emoshit, family, work