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posted : Thursday, August 6, 2020
title : Covid 19 In the Family
Yeah, you read that right. We have someone in the family infected with the hated COVID-19. And it's my dad. Four days after I wrote about my stress inducing work, here came another stress, my dad's swab test turned out positive. He's not been feeling his best a few days before that. With temperatures always ranging from 37-38 degrees, we started to get worried. That's why by July 28, I took a leave from work, for fears that I might take whatever virus my dad had at work. July 29th, we got my dad tested at Chinese General Hospital since my mom doesn't want to report his condition to the local LGU. Therefore, he took the test and paid a whopping 9500PHP instead of a free swab test at a community center. Well, him getting tested there has it's advantages though, like faster test result, less crowded, less chance of getting the virus and such. But obviously, our pockets sure ain't happy. Just after a little more than 24 hours, my dad got his results in an e-mail confirming whatever fear we had. We are kinda expecting it, but I guess, we are still hopeful it's not COVID-19.

It's already been 8 days since we isolated dad inside him and mom's room. Good thing his symptoms are just moderate and would just require him to quarantine at home. But I still hope we could take him to a doctor to have him checked since we all know this virus is such a bitch. Me and mom got tested last August 1 and thankfully turned out negative, in spite of us riding inside the car with my dad the day he got tested and he coughed his lungs out without his mask on. Yep. So that's three swab tests which means we shelled out at least 30k. Thank God, for credit cards.

So far, me and mom doesn't have symptoms. Well, whenever I get a strange feeling in my throat, I would immediately take in some quick remedies like taking lots of vitamin C and gargling salt water and stuff like that. Thankfully, the stop the next day.

This whole situation stressed the hell out of me. I know I should be concentrating with me and my parents' health, but my work has been finding it's way to stress me out more in this situation. And it's all thanks to my a-hole of a boss.

On the first day I took a leave from work, I told him that my dad are having symptoms and he might have COVID. My very compassionate boss replied to me: "You should have told me earlier. Di ka na dapat pumasok kahapon. Get him tested right away." As if blaming me for coming to work the previous day, which is a Monday. His texts just doesn't sound like he cares for me or for the others in the office, All he cares about is his job and what would the higher ups think.

Then another stressful text came, 2 days later. He's asking me when I would report back to work and that there will be a redeployment in the office. I mean, how insensitive can he be right? He knew I'am having a family health crisis that he knows that is scaring the crap out of me, then he will all of a sudden bring up redeployment to me? WHAT THE FUCK RIGHT?!

I straight up told him what's on my mind. I asked him why it's me and he would often say that it's not final and that he wouldn't allow our team to be a person short and that I'll still be there as back up. I told him I knew his plans for me for months and that it has been stressing me for so long. I gave him a piece of my mind, hinting that I wouldn't take this sitting down. I may not be the fastest employee he has, but I'am surely not stupid. I told him we should make our workplace a place of harmony and good communication because we clearly lack that, specially on his end. 

Last Monday I told him I'm COVID negative. He said it's good news and that I will be WFH until the 18th since the office is on skeletal workforce due to the MECQ. But just today, he asked me again when I will be reporting back to work. WHAT THE FUCK AGAIN RIGHT?! I thought I'm on a WFH set up for now and he clearly knows I needed to be quarantined still since I live with my dad. Does this man use his head or his dick for thinking? Plus I have no means of transpo if I'll be reporting back to work by next week. This man just says one thing then does another. He's very stressful for me, just seeing his name pop up on my phone makes me hyperventilate.

That's why thoughts of leaving my job is waving at me again. I dunno. I think these thoughts of leaving is just because of my current feelings and I should wait out on what would happen. But this feeling of constant worry and stress has been with me for the past four years. It's a cycle of me being stressed/afraid of my boss, waiting things out to be better, things get better, then I get transferred again then I get stressed again and so on. It's an endless cycle and it's tiring me out. I'm at this stage or age in my life that I get tired of pleasing people, but this constant transfers at work feels like I need to please people so that I can stay a little longer at a department and not get transferred again. It's just tiring and it makes me feel like I can't get better at a job because I constantly move around. I feel so tired and unhappy.

But right now, being happy in your job is not a priority. The priority is money. As long as you earn, your mental and emotional health is not important. So they say. 

Well, I'll discuss this again on another entry. Writing this down made me feel tons better and less anxious. Please pray that my dad get better soon and that all this craziness of 2020 would stop.

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2:11 AM
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