There are a lot of things I miss ever since I started working. Though I'm not so vocal about it, sometimes, I go sad whenever I miss something or someone. Sometimes a bit pissed off too. Maybe that's how I cope up with things; I get mad cuz I miss something or someone and they never miss me back so instead of getting emo about it, I get pissed off.

Like with my best friend. I miss hanging out with her. But I feel like she doesn't miss me back. The last time we hung out together was like two months ago already. I feel like she's happier with her new crowd already, specially now that she have a boyfriend. I feel like I'm the last person she would like to be with right now. Though she sometimes invites me to go with her and her boyfriend for an out of town trip, I feel (feeling na naman!) that she's just saying that to make me feel better, if not, worse. She knows for a fact that I have no boyfriend to take with me, so what is she trying to say? She knows I get sad about 'things' like that. Plus I want a total girl bonding time with her alone. I miss my best friend.

And you know what other thing I miss? I miss liking someone. You know, like, really, really like someone. I dunno if somethings wrong with me, but the only guys I like right now are imaginary and impossible ones. Not the one's within my reach and very possible. Well, sometimes, I like someone ordinary, but the feeling pass away easily. Cuz deep in my mind, I know that whatever I'm feeling for this person will never be returned to me. I'm just not letting myself get in too deep cuz I know in the end, I'm the miserable one. Listening to The Dresden Doll's Coin Operated Boy sometimes do me good though.

Up to now, I feel miserable. Though I occasionally hide it with my wide smile and loud laughs, I'm still (sort of) sad. I would sometimes cry and play loud, noisy rock music before going to sleep, write emo entries in my diary and buy expensive stuff to make me feel momentarily happy. I really do spend a lot when I'm sad. Swear. I'm starting to like going to work too because there, I could laugh my ass off and talk about random stuff with my officemates and forget about the sad things in life. Oh despair!

Is this what you call mid-life crisis? Hrrmm... I guess not. I'm just one attention seeking weirdo.

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For the one who gives me hugs when I feel sad (even though I don't tell her about it. she could tell), the one who makes me breakfast and packs my baon everyday (even though I'm old enough to do that), the one who always borrows my new clothes (cuz she's now sexy enough to fit in them), HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MOMMY!

I got tagged by Anna
The rules are simple: (1) Post a photo of you and your mom together (recent or old) and write the words “I heart my mom” across it (or type the text below the photo if you don’t feel like opening your image-editing software). (2) Tag your friends



I'm tagging whoever loves their Moms! :D
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it's one of those days...

... when I wish I could hold Hayley Williams in my hands like she's some sort of insect. >:D

Labels: emoshit, family, photos, random