For the past couple of days, lots of things happened. A mix of confusion, misery and joy fills up my being. And right now, I don't wanna think about it.

The things that's been happening to me for the past week had sort of triggered me to feel like this. Remember my last two misbalance? Well, I happened to have a misbalance again this week. That means it's finally STRIKE 3. I never felt so stupid and vulnerable at the same time. I felt stupid cuz of all the days to have a misbalance, why do I have to do it on Thursdays which are slow days? I must be such a stupid counter. I could feel that my officemates are starting to feel pity for me for having these things happening to me. I could hear their thoughts saying: "I'll help her na nga. Baka di pa sya bumalanse." And now, I have a total of one shortage and 2 overages reports on their files. I guess if this is school, I have the most number of violations. I'm the bad apple in the bunch.

I was in complete spaced out mode when I went home last thursday. All I could think of is I'm not gonna be regularized due to my stupidity. I haven't been a great employee and I kept on thinking that I've been so confident on my work, I never asked God for guidance and help. With my tardies, absences and misbalances, all I could think of is: "I wanna resign since I'll never get the chance to be regularized." I had this sudden urge to just quit cuz I'm getting tired of counting other people's money and take all the blame if something gets wrong with it.

Then as if planned, while I complain about my shitty day to my folks, my cellphone rang, a familliar number flashing on it's screen. When I answered, it was Accenture, asking me to come over to their office since they have a job offer for me as a JUNIOR SYSTEMS ENGINEER. I was like, whoa! really? I was hesitant at first to accept, but when I remembered all the things that happened to me at my present work, I said I'll try to come by to their office the next day. They said that if they see that my grades are high enough, they might accept me, have a final interview and get a medical exam and I could start reporting to their office this monday. What? As in that fast. I was like, "God, is this the sign that I'm looking for?" They called on a very perfect time. I'm starting to hate my work, and now here they come offering me a much better job (in my feild!) with (I suppose) a higher wage.

Now I'm on a dillema. I was finally graded yesterday and now recommended for regularization at my present work. I'm not also allowed to also leave my work without notice. I must resign first a month before I actually leave. And within two months, I'll be, as what they call, a bonafide banker. I didnt went at Accenture yesterday since I had my mind sort of setted on my present work. And now, almost everyone around me says that I should go for the Accenture job offer. They say I had a brighter future in this job. I can go abroad too if i want. They are forcing me to reconsider and go there for an interview. Golly, I'm confused.

I got a spankin new layout featuring The Used. Pretty eh?