well, im a bit down today... i dont know why... all i know is that im always in spaced out mode thinking about lots of stuff... mixed stuff that's running through my head like my practicum next semester, back subject problems, money matters, 'getting a job', and even love matters are entering through my head...then i also remembered the past Incubus concert last March 04 which also added to my sort of depressed state...

as i think about those things, i realized: why am i missing out on the good things while all i get are just the bad? i missed the chance of seeing Incubus because i dont have enough money for the tickets, i couldnt buy what i want even the cheapest one, i couldnt get a guy to love or like me at least, i couldnt get out of the house, i have no money, i have no boyfriend, i have no life! my life is so darn boring...it wouldnt fit to be written on a blog like this or something... all i have now are family situations that i must try to comprehend and deal with...

not that im complaining, but i have been a good girl...i've been nice to other people, my friends, most specially to my family but why am i starting to feel like this? like i dont deserve some of the good stuff... i know, i have nice friends, the best mom and dad, a loving family and those basic things, but still something is missing... wanted to feel happy as in hap-hap-happy or happy happy joy joy kind of happy... the kind of happiness that i feel whenever i see a brandon boyd photo or video or something...

i dont know where this stuff is leading to, but i know my life is full or crap now and i need someone to keep me from going insane...